We won't sleep together?
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
