And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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