I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I understand Curling. That high.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
