Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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