Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Oh god it's open bar.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
