I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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