If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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