SEEEEXXX PLEASE
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
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