Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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