its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
