AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
