smell my finger.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
