i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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