So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
