I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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