Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Just pee around me
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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