I can text with my tongue
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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