But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
