do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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