Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
