Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
