he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
