i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
