How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
