maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
