Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
