You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
