apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
