Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks... http://tfl.nu/l4e9
  Replies (2) Good night (1061) Bad night (383) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway" http://tfl.nu/kkqr
  Replies (25) Good night (3585) Bad night (554) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago. http://tfl.nu/p2wp
  Replies (20) Good night (3574) Bad night (560) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head. (810): I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again. http://tfl.nu/3d2e
  Replies (17) Good night (2960) Bad night (692)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry http://tfl.nu/vuqf
  Replies (21) Good night (1753) Bad night (4459) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers. http://tfl.nu/9jml
  Replies (5) Good night (3777) Bad night (760) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried http://tfl.nu/ujpo
  Replies (6) Good night (3427) Bad night (863) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth? http://tfl.nu/fmc3
  Replies (13) Good night (2697) Bad night (666) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+64): If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine http://tfl.nu/9dun
  Replies (6) Good night (2654) Bad night (1243) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic http://tfl.nu/cgi2
  Replies (3) Good night (1848) Bad night (1305)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages. http://tfl.nu/6dga
  Replies (5) Good night (1171) Bad night (841) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  You need a twittervention. You're better than this.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): You need a twittervention. You're better than this. http://tfl.nu/6sfs
  Replies (7) Good night (630) Bad night (423) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013? http://tfl.nu/6zdp
  Replies (3) Good night (576) Bad night (324) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions http://tfl.nu/8lj3
  Replies (1) Good night (417) Bad night (139) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time http://tfl.nu/10i6
  Replies (3) Good night (738) Bad night (157) Order T-Shirt

Randomize