Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I just cut my nipple shaving
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?