Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  My new storm is the chrons

  (248): View more from Michigan

  The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one

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  (248): My new storm is the chrons (248): The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one<div>(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one</div> http://tfl.nu/7nnd
  Replies (5) Good night (1973) Bad night (717)
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  (925): View more from California

  so explain again why im purple

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  no

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  (925): so explain again why im purple (617): no http://tfl.nu/yipi
  Replies (10) Good night (1893) Bad night (602)
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  (619): View more from California

  I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.

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  (619): I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me. http://tfl.nu/huad
  Replies (15) Good night (2558) Bad night (788)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Hey kate, how is it?

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.

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  (267): Hey kate, how is it? (610): sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving. http://tfl.nu/94qm
  Replies (14) Good night (747) Bad night (2936)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not

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  (937): Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not http://tfl.nu/mdp5
  Replies (27) Good night (663) Bad night (2632)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?

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  (360): is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect? (503): Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam? http://tfl.nu/p9dl
  Replies (71) Good night (6460) Bad night (766)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome

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  (920): So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome http://tfl.nu/oppr
  Replies (6) Good night (4305) Bad night (759)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids

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  (970): Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids http://tfl.nu/uov9
  Replies (4) Good night (864) Bad night (2216)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.

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  (336): I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done. http://tfl.nu/4ilz
  Replies (13) Good night (999) Bad night (3058)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.

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  (413): FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know. http://tfl.nu/mpp4
  Replies (8) Good night (1143) Bad night (702)
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  (818): View more from California

  Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?

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  (818): Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs? http://tfl.nu/leke
  Replies (13) Good night (975) Bad night (632)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.

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  (937): Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh. http://tfl.nu/4hwq
  Replies (4) Good night (1043) Bad night (563)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.

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  (202): I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle. http://tfl.nu/vi8d
  Replies (3) Good night (331) Bad night (849)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really

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  (+44): although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really http://tfl.nu/kxvm
  Replies (2) Good night (457) Bad night (212)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Happy Fourth.

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  (843): I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night... (843): Happy Fourth. http://tfl.nu/0uin
  Replies (0) Good night (531) Bad night (247)

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