Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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