Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I think scott just propositioned me for sex

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): I think scott just propositioned me for sex http://tfl.nu/w8hq
  Replies (3) Good night (1192) Bad night (558)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets. http://tfl.nu/c2eo
  Replies (30) Good night (869) Bad night (1269)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (778): i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome. http://tfl.nu/42ph
  Replies (15) Good night (2524) Bad night (770)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night http://tfl.nu/ky4c
  Replies (5) Good night (4526) Bad night (939)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again. http://tfl.nu/1vav
  Replies (12) Good night (4536) Bad night (631)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college. http://tfl.nu/m4jf
  Replies (52) Good night (4530) Bad night (854)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling? http://tfl.nu/57n3
  Replies (10) Good night (577) Bad night (1828)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?" http://tfl.nu/b210
  Replies (5) Good night (1245) Bad night (530)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion" http://tfl.nu/w9if
  Replies (12) Good night (2591) Bad night (862)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only. http://tfl.nu/5mf4
  Replies (4) Good night (781) Bad night (441)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride. http://tfl.nu/at65
  Replies (7) Good night (925) Bad night (519)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things. http://tfl.nu/vhue
  Replies (4) Good night (1295) Bad night (426)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint. http://tfl.nu/31gg
  Replies (4) Good night (539) Bad night (350)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (626): Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan. http://tfl.nu/e06m
  Replies (0) Good night (436) Bad night (353)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (231): it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month... http://tfl.nu/7y04
  Replies (0) Good night (292) Bad night (527)

Randomize