Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(757): View more from Virginia

Just be blunt and say drink from my dick

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(818): View more from California

Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?

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(612): View more from Minnesota

i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.

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(540): View more from Virginia

I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards

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23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.

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(443): View more from Maryland

Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...

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(+64): View more from New Zealand

You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?

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(732): View more from New Jersey

He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.

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