Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
