just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
50% drunk capacity currently
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
