he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
