I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
