I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
