you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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