so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
