...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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