i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
