Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize