I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
