Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
