We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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