I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
