We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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