we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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