I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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