I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
