you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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