you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
