How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize