No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
