she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I have post one night stand depression
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