and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
