It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
