You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
she peed on how many people?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
