is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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