I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
is it fun? or sober?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize